Subject: jss report Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 12:37:16 EDT From: HWJohn6402@aol.com To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com Twas the night before super series, and all throught the hyatt, not a tiny competitor was silent, none dared to keep quiet. All were in the lobby, with 10,000 bucks in their heads, dreamin of what decks to play, so they could bring home the bread. Ok, enough with the crap, let me get to it. The names Blair Johnson and I'm one of the many to compete in the superseries. A week before I had decided that sligh was the deck to go with, "Godzilla" being a seckond choice and white weenie a trusty third choice. Playtesting showed that Five color blue, or Five color poo was not up to it's usual par. So, with that, beatdown was the style to go with. The notorious Kyle Rose a.k.a, "cold mashed potatoes" insisted through playtesting that simple sligh would work. This was true for our area, but florida was not chester. With red deck in hand, and my trusty sidekick Ben" the donkey" Early, i clicked my heels and was wisked away to Florida, curtosy of WOTC. Now, where i come from, the weather aint 105 degrees, so long pants and long shirts do not go well with the typical florida weather. Upon arrival to the Hyatt, i noticed a strange odor in the air. And then i thought to myself, "Somethings rotten in Denmark!". Simple enough, that odor was cheap cologne, and where theres stank nasty colonge, theres gay people, thats right, its gay pride week in disney, and man were they proud! The gayest of the gay had gathered to go and get some good gay action on in disney. Don't tell anyone, but i think Rosewater had something to do with the schedualing. But anyways, i dropped my stuff off and my associate and i traveled on to the World Wide Sports thing. Straight up no one was there, except for those playing in the open. I played in some small side tourneys, and got crushed with the sligh deck. "Godzilla" just owns the red deck, i mean, the guy didn't have to use his sideboard, mainly cause he didn't have one. So i played again and won one game agiainst some scrub, but got beat by this guy playing suicide black. And the results were in at the end of the day. I was sure that i wouldn't play sligh in the superseries. So you ask, where do i turn to for help, my associate, no, hes to busy playing demos. It's all up to a friend of mine, Ron Schubert. Ron was playing in the 15 and under division and I told him i couldn't play sligh, so i needed a deck. I looked at what he had and found my pot of gold. MERFOLK! But the deck is so much more than merfolk, its like good. I can go into how and why i'ts good, but i won't. I'll just give the decklist and jump into the tourney report. FISH! 4 lords of atlanta " i wanted to play sunken city, but it wasn't in fifth edition(just kidding!)" 3 tradwinds 3 man o war 2 wasserwaher 4 rootwater diver " scroll #5,6,7,8" 3 merfolk traders 3 voldaian illusionist 3 impulse 4 legacy allure " taste like chicken" 4 counterspell 4 cursed scroll 1 zurs weirding "this card is phenominal in the deck" 4 quicksands 18 islands sideboard 4 chill 4 hydroblast 1 steal artifact 2 steal enchantment 3 boomarang 1 undo Round 1 Blair < Matt Severa: Wisconsin, Da cheese state So my decks good, but my match up is not. After the third turn, i knew everycard in his deck. He was playing Tradewind Lock, aka, El Nino. The question was if he had legacy or propaganda? He had legacy, dammit. First game was lost due to play error, and him out tradwinding/ legacying me. He got the geddon off and the tradwind sealed the lock. Game two: Not so good for me cause like an idiot, i don't board in my steal enchantments. He gets a legacy, i get a legacy, he geddons, i draw one land and am stuck. Tradwind peaks out, smiles, displays the lock factor, and i know that i have to draw an island to hold on, but i don't and loose. Ok, that sucked. I realize that i have to win the rest of my matches and the scrub factor is rising. Man, i cannot loose first round, especially to this deck, but i later find that this deck type is the most threataning to mine. Round 2 Blair > Brad ??? Brad was doing the Five Color Poo thing. Bonus for me, not for him. The game started with first turn scroll, second turn lord, third turn, diver and lord and so on. But the highlight was when i got him in the Zurs weirding lock. I had the weirding in my hand and a C. Scroll on the table. He had three cards. So, i threw my pennies in teh air, hoping they all landed on heads and gave it a shot. Weirding hits, i look at his hand, a wall of blossom, wrath of god, adakar waste, BOOM! Thats a lock kids! He didn't seem too impressed, but i was. Game Two: I go fast action and merfolk massacar him. Poor guys walls just don't block island walkers. I later found that this guy was a big pro-tour player who appealed his points so that he could play in the superseries. He was a nice guy, i liked him. In between rounds i find that Ron was doin bad with his bad five color blue, don't care, his fault. On to round 3. Round 3 Blair > Jason ???? I put a first turn muff diver out, he ups my ante with a second turn rituald disk, ekhh! The lord hears the call of his children and comes to the top of my deck. I play the lord, get rid of the disk, and pop our two scrolls. Then like a gust of wind, the Wasserwaher lands on the table, ROAR! He grins and then runs in terror, due to my opponent scaring him. A turn later, the music hit and gnomes start dancin. I hate disco! My paper gets all messed up cause hes gainin 3 life and takin 4 damage every other turn. Then, my little merfolk dudes come out to dance with the gnomes. All this action got me tierd and i was drained for 8 life, leavin me at 7. I'm not sure how the game ended, but the plug to the music was pulled and people stopped dancin. Game two: If you don't know what he was playin then ill tell you, it was necro, nasty, butt nasty necro. Game two involved me spewin out a shload of creatures and gettin craxy on him with El Nino. He drew a lot of land, so i'd say i got a tad better draw. Round 4: Blair > ??? Dun Dun dun, "Godzilla meets The little mermaid!" Ok, so like he puts out a turn one hidden horror, loosin a verdent force. I got a man-0-war in hand, but intend to use it for the verdent. I go down to one, hes out of creatures, and cards due to a McNasty Firestorm, im holdin a counterspell, got two creatures and a cursed scroll on the table, game is within reach. Get him , got him, game! Game Two: I strap some boomin gear in the deck and it rocks. Bounce, boing like the Tigger! I then get some controle with El Nino and thats it for this one, i was close to loosin the second game, i won a 4 life, phew! Round 5: Blair < Andrew Pacifico Now, there are some people in magic i dislike, and some people i hate, this guy is both. I mean, come on, flagpole. Try, flagpile of shit, or fagpole, your idea is not original, your style sucks and you beat me cause i got screwed in the second game. I always am cocky when my opponent is a tad bit mana screwed(thats you dued!) Anyways, one to what happend. Game one: He goes 2 turn legacy, i gets a legacy, MEMORIES! He play a wall, i have no fish! I get a scroll, he sits on it with da monkey, i get another scroll, he plays a tradwind, i counter, he counters back, shit! My turn, i can either scroll the monkey, or sit and counter the geddon. I try to scroll the monkey and miss, shit. So he goes, "If you have a disrupt then your a good player" and geddons with my untapped island and if you were a good player you would return my untapped island, dickwad! Im locked, so what, game two is another chance. I put in all the juice, bounce, steal enchantment, everything. I get one island a steal enchant, and two legacys, the rest is a blur. Just like my land! Hes all excited,i would too if my opponent was mana screwed, i discard a lord of atlantas and he's like, "HOLY SHIT, i didn't know" , of course not dip shit, i didn't play any the first game. Ok, im teird of whining, this match sucked. Game 6: Blair > ??? Sligh, ye haw! Game one is a loss, Side in 4 chills, 4 hydros, 1 steal, win next two. Didn't care, even though it was a thousand doller ante, still didn't care. I'm fooling myself to like this Pacifico guy, but by watching him play just ruins this illusion. Anyways, i had some fun playing on the side and gunslinging with the pros. Kinda funny when i was playing against david price, i wasn't gettin any land and finkle comes up and says, "Portent is soo good when your opponent is suckin on land" and im like " Yeah, your gay ass combos work then" Sorry Finkle, i was just a little edgy at the moment. I got to play around with Jay D. the 15 and under winner and decided that his deck was like dirty underwear, and then it hit me, fat pants= heros resolve, baggy pants= conviction, and dirty underwear= emperial armor, never mind. So i make 14 place, bring home 2,410$, and find that most of the judges at the super series were loosers. I did think that that guy that beat me in the first round was kinda cool, but Pacifico was lame. Onto the props and slops. Props: Kyle Rose, for his help. Ben Early Ron, thanks for the deck Tak Elmore, David Adams, Alex Tyler and all his dauwgs, all 50 of them. Matt Lindie and David Mananie, fish rule, so does the weirding Derek Rank, master of the sqanderd stasis and the unknown Slops: Andrew Pacifico Rick Ralsten That judge who got all anal with me! "Cartoons are real life in an imaginary world" -unknown- Later whoever, Blair Johnson