Subject: Three colors BAD!!!! Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1998 02:48:45 PDT From: "Lord_Of Jabootyville" To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com Here's a tournament report (actually 3) for you guys keep up the good work: Hi, I'm Jesse Wilke and here are my Bloom experiences and thoughts. First of all, if you think Bloom is not a viable deck and is totally luck based, and will lose to disenchant and blah di blah di blah di blah di yackity schmackity blah blah then stop reading this report amd go read about a nice little five color green deck or white weenie that went 3-2 in some tournament in Buttcrack, Ohio. Bloom is an amazing deck and since I have won the last three sanctioned Type II tournaments where the competition is fierce and the armpits are musty (really fucking musty, I mean for goddam cryin' out loud these are people who haven't showered since Fallen Empires because they think its good luck.) Anywho heres how the first tournament went Round one: Somebody Playing this sliver thingamajig game one: uh hes playing slivers and does like a lot of damage but I'm like playing bloom so when I drain him for like 35 it really doesn't matter. game two: See game one except that I have Perish now so I'm not in any hurry. Round two: Somebody playing blue sligh fish/straw golem thingy game one: he beats me down to two via Straw Golem and Spindrifts etc then I Abeyance him he counter tapping out and I go off and win game two: I hide behind sideboarded Wall of Blossoms, he taps out to cast Zur's Weirding. I disenchant and win on the next turn. Round three: NecroControl (the anti-slgih Spinning Darkness Gnome version) game one: He's playing black no need for abeyance as I drain about six turns into it though I could have gone sooner if forced. game two: He plays a disk and untaps it, it doesn't matter Abeyance, drop Squandered, N. Balance, Bloom, Contract, Pros, Drain, Win. Round four: Vladimir Golikov (funny how I remember the hardest to remember name) 5cG game 1: He busts out like a million elves, birds, and tradewinds, and kicked my ass in a lock since I draw no counters. game 2: I perish leaving one forest and kick his ass in my own sweet time. game 3: I go off but draw shit so he gets an additional turn doesn't matter though as I win by protecting Squanderd with counterds. Tournament two: Round 1: Red/Black Knight/Incinerate/Lancer stuff game 1: he gets me down to eight then I win game 2: I hide behind Wall of Blossoms and eventually win. Round 2: White Weenie game 1: he busts out Aura but I abeyance him so he can't sac it to destroy an enchantment double balance to produce enough mana and just play the pieces to win. game 2: I disenchant his Aura and totally rule him since he gets one White Knight before I bust out Gloom and he's doomed Round 3: Gerry Lewandowski Weird Red/Green stuff yet effective game 1: I manage to win before he beats me to death with Maro close though. game 2: I draw poorly, he hits me with VIASHIVAN DRAGON BABY!!!!! 13 points of damage because his damn elf lets him turn green to red mana. game 3: I cast Perish after he plays Viashivan and some other creatures. Round 4: Tim Kariel, Really Good Necro aka Kariel Necro game 1: he necros and coercions but I Bloom and WIN!!! game 2: He busts out Bottomless Pit, I disenchant Pit and untap then kick his butt since I topdeck the Contract which in turn allows ne to draw both Bloom and Impulse which fetches Meditate which fetches Prosperity and blahddy blahhdy blah BLAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHA Drain!!!! Sorry I got a little excited there. Tournament Three: Round 1: Slivers game 1: I counter his harrow which kicked his ass since he had to sac a land and lost his gemstone to cast it, he never recovers from one land. game 2: he busts out three straight muscle slivers and beats me down since I can't draw anything. game 3: I cast Perish killing 5 slivers, take that sliver worshipping beeyiotch!! Drain can wait as he now has no threats go off when i'm ready and win. Round 2: Stuart Hapt MonoBlue Disk/Steel Golem/Whisper/Impulse deck Game 1: I overcome his counters with Abeyance and Squandered winning in short order Game 2: I force through City of Solitude with Abeyance and he can't do anything about it really so I kick ass with drain and prosperity Round 3: Corey Anvil, Discard, Megrim, control crap game 1: he thinks that megrim does damage when I use Bloom until he realizes that I remove it from the game not discard it so I win. game 2: I disenchant Bottomless Pit and then just counter anything that matters and powersink to tap out then win in short order. Round 4: Nate Barnes 5cB game 1: he plays a couple of creatures but I abeyance and win game 2: I get an amazing hand and win on the third turn. Sidenotes: This deck beats everything, as you can see from the tournament report, it just doesn't really matter what they do, though a five color white weenie deck with several (try 4) Auras of Silence as well as 4 Armageddons but that doesn't do to well against the rest of the field (since we are control freaks here in Seattle read: Howard Gilbraith) It totally doesn't lose to Disenchant or Counters because of Abeyance and its own counters, oh yeah, here's the deck: 4 Abeyance (critical) 4 Squandered 4 Cadaverous Bloom 4 Natural Balance 4 Impulse 4 Infernal Contract 4 Meditate 3 Prosperity 2 Vampiric Tutor 4 Mana Leak 1 Power Sink 1 Drain Life 4 City of Brass 4 Gemstone Mine 5 Swamp 4 Forest 4 Island 1 Plains I'll leave the sideboard up to your twisted imaginations except that it should have 3 Cities of Solitude, 2 Disenchant, 3 Gloom, 4 Wall of Blossoms, and 3 Perish oh yeah thats the entire thing damn! Props (The most overused yet consistently funny section of any generic tournament report): Seattle Team Thunder those that come to mind are me, Howard Gilbraith, Tim Kariel, Ty Holcomb, Scott Dodson, Bryan Petersen, Josh Lytle, David Baxter, Vladimir Golikov, and all the rest who are gonna kick my ass for forgetting them. Noritt. Presumptuous. (its an inside joke) WotC bucks for miraculously turning into cash Ophidians (they work so hard to please their masters) Jessica our judge for making idiots realize that they are. Yo momma All hail the razor chickens Everyone who writes cool tournament reports, especially the funny ones Super Props to "Spring forth my burly protector and save me." This always procurs the Drain Life when I need it. Slops: Howards Deck those damn Ophidians kicked his own ass, he drew 20 more cards then another control deck and still lost literally 20 f***ing cards. Noritt Presumptuous (still an inside joke) Sliver Queen for beating my friend Jason down on the fifth turn Idiots who think they know what they are talking about. Unfortunately there is only about 2% of Magic players who know what they are doing. Playa hatas who think Bloom is an unsuccessful deck and is luck based go somewhere and cry thanks for sticking through this report offensive though it may have been and boring too good luck to you all and enjoy yourselves do well in regionals and keep posting reports. Jesse Wilke DCI #721712 ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com