Subject: Top 10 reasons to fear Sandy Valley Magic players.
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1998 21:50:05 -0700
From: "Orion" <greywolf@sandyvalley.net>
To: <fkusumot@ix.netcom.com>

[Humor] The Top 10 Reasons To Fear Sandy Valley Magic Players, or "The
lunatics with cards and a lighter"

10. Some of them have strange appetites. Scotty is known to eat anything he
lays his hands on. His nickname is 'Carnophage', because if he gets hold of
it, he'll eat it. Don't let him have your deck to look at, you'll lost half
the cards in the process.

9. Sandy Valley was a testing ground to see what radioactive sand does. The
result is that you don't want to get close, you might be irradiated. If you
have to play someone from Sandy Valley, do so in a radiation suit.

8. White does not exist in Sandy Valley. If you play with in a deck, you'll
get accused of cheating. Most people from SV can't even see white cards, in
fact.

7. They take direct damage too far. They bring a can of aerosol and a
lighter to the table, if they play burn. And you don't even *want* to know
about Pestilence.

6. The Mark Dresden Impulse. You will be an old, arthritic man before he's
done.

5. The Steven Haight Kor Combo. He will take forever, calculating the amount
of damage done, by dealing 1 point of damage to one of his Kor with a Flare,
then bouncing it between two Kor with a Furnace of Rath and a Mogg Maniac in
play. At one poinmt, he spent an entire hour with paper and pencil,
calculating this before finally blasting his opponent for some insanely
large amount of damage.

4. The Sara Peterson Infinite Life Combo. She does the same thing as Steve,
but then redirects it to some innocent creature of her own who isn't a Mogg
Maniac, and uses some obscure combo to turn it all into a vast life gain <in
excess of 10 billion usually> for herself before Disenchanting the Furnace.
No one knows what cards she uses, what mana, or anything, because she's the
only lady Magic player out here, and a rather pretty one at that. <She uses
it to her extreme advantage>

3. Shaun Smith. The boy always has his katana with him, and has a rather bad
temper. He cut one opponent's deck quite literally.

2. Any non-magic-playing person from Sandy Valley. They believe the game is
evil, and will try to convert you to the Right, and the burning of the
cards.

1. Any Magic player from Sandy Valley. They're nuts. The best thing to do
when playing one? Concede. Run away. Turn them in to the psycho ward.

~Matt Craft,
Master of the green hordes,
champion of Lhurgoyfs,
king of wurms