Subject: The 40 Haikus Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 18:01:16 -0700 From: Alex Saltzberg To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com Here they are in one massive list. As a general warning, I only wrote about half these haikus, the rest were culled from #mtg. Inquest Magazine / Pretty pictures and stories / Too bad the words suck Kird Ape, we love you / They banned you in extended / Must kill DCI Kjeldoran Outpost / Please make some more dudes for me / Eep, Pyroclasm I played Green today / My opponent casts Perish / Three times every game I eat garden snails / My hedgehog is pregnant too / I win PTQs We are Team Legion / All who oppose us will die / Squeeze our hedgehog please I have the P9 / I have Juzams, Nether Voids / I died from a Scryb I like IRC / I play apprentice often / What is a female? I read the Dojo / Copied the neatest deck there / The format was sealed I built a cool deck / I read the Dojo, poor me / It was everywhere The Magic Dojo / Cesspool of rumors and lies / So says Mike O. Long Metamorph, the judge / He talked to Pym yesterday / Pym now lives with Quard Jamie casts a spell / It is a big-ass fattie / Prepare for beatdown Didn't make day two / I am off the Pro Tour now / I can't pay my rent I played my green deck / Finkel played his mono black / Perish is broken Mono blue is fun / I like playing with Impulse / Stupid Errata In a PTQ / For Rome, I played a Cursed Scroll / Confiscated Now Finkel keeps winning / Here comes Raphael Levy / The end of a reign I drew twenty cards / My opponent drew twelve / I was burned to death I cast the Tradewind / He made an 8/9 Scragnoth / That card is so phat I am abeyanced / He casts a squandered and bloom / The game is over Victimize and Raze / Are badly phrased, but maybe / Wizards wanted that Talvi is an op / She kicks with sadistic glee / Do not bother here Land Tax is played now / Oh my God Seismic Assualt / Fiery death now You drew your last card / Ha ha you'll be dead next turn / Pursuit of Knowledge?? Capsize with buyback / I love bouncing cards, but OOPS / Infernal Tribute Chub Toad Chub Toad rocks / Don't fail me in booster draft / You beat grizzly bears I love my duals / I have twenty out right now / Oh no, Homelands tech Sealed decks rock the house / Took mine to a local tourney / Got whipped by Phoenix I want a Rath game / I need to test for Grand Prix / 2 out of 3 please I played a thief deck / It stole my Scroll and Moti / Then my Lich, Capsize!! Living Death is cast / Four wall of blossoms in 'yard / Three cards left to draw Judge Copernicus / We await the worst from him / With haikus from hell Cathy Nicolof / With dojo posts most daring / We await the next I am the keeper / First came the hole in the head / Now comes the mirror I was a green mage / They laughed at the army of elves / They'd splashed perish People call me Zvi / I giggle and play Tradewind / What is a razor? Magic really sucks / As do all who play the game / You must get a life Judges of DCI / Rules knowledge muchly lacking / who put them in charge? Legend Rob Hahn axed / Wizards is too retarded / Inquest now looks good Steel Golems Are Fat / I wish they had four power / Wall of Blossoms suck -Copernicus --------------------------------------------------------------------------