Subject: Dojo Name Rejections [UNSOLICITED HUMOR] Date: Wed, 02 Sep 1998 22:06:46 -0500 From: Tim Kilgore To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com [Disclaimer: I do not endorse Star Bucks coffee, lap dancing, Ding-Dongs, sex toys or any other item, device, or food mentioned in this essay. You should also know that combining any of these items could be detrimental to your health, especially the Ding-Dongs. Take heed.] I suppose that it was inevitable that I would be reduced to writing a Top 10 list. I had a couple of these things rambling around in my thoughts and it is my hope to forever be rid of them. Without further ado, here we go… TOP TEN Names Rejected for what is known as THE MAGIC DOJO - 10. The Magic GoGo. Supported by Truc Bui and other lap dance fans, but was ultimately considered too sexist. 9. The Magic Mojo. While bad mojo can be good stuff, Magic Mojo sounded too much like a brand of Star Bucks coffee. 8. The Magic Lobo Throat Wolves are awesome, but on the whole, any magic card with a reference to a Wolf is a turd. Enough said. 7. The Magic Dodo PR people were afraid that references to an extinct, flightless bird would be depressing. Gone, but not forgotten. We miss you man - you made great feather adornments for ladies hats. 6. The Magic Maro Mark was a big supporter of this name and has been eternally disappointed that it wasn't used. But if he should ever offer to show you his Magic Maro, use pepper spray or mace, and lots of it. 5. Three words that are really four: The Magic Mofo Blame George Carlin. 4. The Magic Frodo Hates the Baggins, hates it. 3. The Magic Hoho This one almost went over, but Hostess insisted that Ding Dongs got fair representation and the deal was off. Not that the Dojo is lacking in certified ding-dongs or anything like that. 2. The Magic Hobo Summons the image of some random guy on a street corner with a shopping cart and a sign saying, "Will work for boosters." And the number 1 rejected name for the Magic Dojo is…. The Magic Dildo Batteries not included. A 12-volt recharger is optional, but recommended. As you can see, Fernando Kusumoto made the right choice. He knows that there is power in words that end in the letter O. That there is little power in names that end in an E. Which reminds me... Joe 'Jiggy Spice' Grimes says hi. - Tim