Subject: [HUMOR]
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1998 02:05:11 PDT
From: "Elmer Kendall" <yacatisma@hotmail.com>
To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com

OFFICIAL "UNGLUED" RULES PRONOUNCEMENTS OF THE CHEESEDIP CARTEL
compiled by Elmer K.

The following rulings and errata are effective at all Magic
tournaments, sanctioned and otherwise, as of September 1, 1998.

Ashnod's Coupon: As errata, costs of target drink must be *public
information*. This corrects a loophole which allowed a player to
force his opponent to get him a previously owned drink from a
neighboring table. Target drink must be available within a hour's
distance by chicken from activating player's location.

Bureaucracy: Ignore clause "...without jeopardizing the health and
security of said PLAYER." This text inadvertently allowed any
death threat from an opponent to render Bureaucracy useless.

Cardboard Carapace: While this card is in effect, one must
continuously reveal all cards with him or her which are not in
play or in his or her graveyard, hand, or library. To prevent
under-counting, one may be required to submit to a search of
belongings, clothing, and/or body orifices at the discretion of
the Head Judge.

Censorship: This enchantment triggers whenever the chosen
[CENSORED] word is pronounced in any language. Failure to
recognize that a word has been pronounced in a non-English
language may be construed as a Declaration of Forfeiture at the
discretion of the [CENSORED] Head Judge.

Chaos Confetti: If this card is in a sleeve at the beginning of a
duel, it must remain in such condition while activated. As errata,
this card is Rare.

Common Courtesy: Note that this card affects all players, not just
opponents of its controller.

"Double" cards: The Statute of Limitations may apply to these
spells in accord with the law of the state or province in which
one plays. Moreover, outstanding Double spells are not triggered
by play in sanctioned tournaments. This corrects a loophole which
caused "name" players to be mobbed (to death in one case) at
Unglued events.

Handcuffs: This card triggers immediately against a one-handed
player.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue: A word may not be rhymed with itself.
That's just bad style.

Mirror Mirror: Resultant to a well-publicized incident of cheating
at a Pro Tour event, this card now reads "...and all cards in your
hand, library, graveyard, and lap..."

Once More with Feeling: This card is hereby unrestricted in
Classic/Unglued tournaments. It will remain banned in
Classic-Restricted/Unglued tournaments.

Prismatic Wardrobe: Only externally visible garments are subsumed
by "clothing" as referred to by this card. Externalization of
garments may be played as a fast effect.

Sex Appeal: If a player's sex cannot be determined, flip a coin.
The result applies to all future ambiguities.

Players failing to conform to these rulings will be given a pat on
the back and burned at the stake in alternation.

Magic: the Gathering, Unglued, DCI, and the "good stuff from
Tibet" are intellectual property of Wizards of the Coast, Inc.

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com