Subject: Scrubs and Experts
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1998 19:43:07 -0400
From: Matt Calhoun <stealth@carroll.com>
To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com

[Humor]
As it turns out scrubs and experts have a lot in common, here
are some examples:

They both get bad land draws
Scrub:
 "Im gonna fix this decks mana"
Expert:
 "I ALWAS get mana screwed"

They both build according to metagame
Scrub:
 "I knew you werent ready for main-deck COP:blue, thats why i put it
 in here"
Expert:
 "I can't belive i lost to COP:Blue."

They both have dumb nicknames for cards
Scrub:
 "I play Bloody Scythe(casualy refering to Sadistic Glee)"
Expert:
 "I play the mighty flagpole"

They both realize AEther Tide sucks
Scrub:
 "AEther Tide sucks"
Expert:
 "AEther Tide sucks"

They both try to avoid mana screw
Scrub:
 "What do you mean what am i doing? Im organizing my deck into card-card
 land, that way i cant get mana screwed."
Expert:
 "I promise i didnt put all my land on the bottom of my deck before
 those last 2 pile shuffles"

They like to make bad decks
Scrub:
 "I dont know what your talking about, just put in 4 of everything"
Expert:
 "This deck needs consistency"(this specifically refers to Chinnoks
black deck) =)

They both realize the relative power of certain cards
(in sealed)
Scrub:
 "All these 1 casting cost creatures are better early in the game"
Expert:
 "Nausa only really works when your opponent is a scrub"

They both collect cards
Scrub:
 "I collect regenerations"
Expert:
 "I collect beta cards"

They both get lucky
Scrub:
 "I WON THE TOURNY OHH BABY"
Expert:
 Actually this is a difference, i know some experts(who shall remain
unnammed) who wont
 EVER get lucky

Neither of them are listed under the "impulse like a" colum
Scrub:
 Take the bad card, curse about it, then realize your whole deck sucks
and it woudnt have
 mattered
Expert:
 Take the best card, start laughing hysterically at the chair pulled out
from under an unnammed
 player and when your opponent turns around take the other 3.

They both came to play
Scrub:
 "Who cares if im 1-4????"
Expert:
 "I came to play...."

They both belong to teams
Scrub:
 "We are team GAME MASTER"
Expert:
 "We are (insert ANY team name here)"

They both shamlessly plug their favorite web page
Scrub:
 "http://oceanus.carroll.com/p/stealth/magic/!!!!!"
Expert:
 "http://oceanus.carroll.com/p/stealth/magic/!!!!!"

See everyone at game master