Subject: Why I am going to cheat
Date: Fri, 10 Jul 1998 08:46:25 -0700
From: bhacker@popmail.ucsd.edu
To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com

  "WHY I AM GOING TO CHEAT" by Brian J. Hacker

  We, the Hitmen, have given the matter a lot of thinking.  After
many meetings, discussions, and mail sent back and forth, we have
decided on one simple dictum for our future magic careers: If you're 
not cheating, you're not trying.

  Why do you ask, are we going to soil our generally good reputation?

  Why are we willing to get unfair advantages over our competitors?

  Why will you see us mana stack, make suspicious shuffles, draw extra
cards, mark our decks, abuse our fellow competitors verbally, and 
otherwise break every rule the DCI has?  Simple: it pays.

  What about getting caught and banned, you say?  For those of
you who haven't noticed, the DCI stands for "Do Cheat Intentionally".
There is NO chance of anyone with a *name* of getting banned.  Not a 
chance in hell.  If they aren't going to kick Gabrielle Pistachio out
of a tournament for putting his lands and spells opposite directions
twice (!!!), guess what?  They aren't going to kick us out for 
anything.

  Gone to tournament lately?  Ever seen Pete Leiher shuffle, or 
imitate it? Ever seen Mike Long's antics?

  Jason Gordon made more money by cheating blatantly and getting
caught than if he had played legitimately.  Why should we continue
to play fairly when there is normally a player or two in every top
eight that cheats like Shoeless Joe Jackson?  Nope, I'm sick of being
the odd man out.  I'll sacrifice my reputation and a couple of 
friendships for thousands of dollars a year.  Why not?  That's all 
I'll lose. Other friends of mine have capitulated and others are 
going to.