DCI Certified Schizophrenic (You have been warned)

Herein lies the complete archive of Quard's Corner, a series of articles where two usually separate entities called Magic and Humor are forced to co-exist by a fly-headed self-professed humorist and his imaginary trained typing ferret, Ferratio. A monthly series created accidentally by myself simply because the Voices made me (I have eight distinctive voices; all are incredibly bad singers). Quard's Corner first popped up on the net in late 1996 on the Vault e-zine (www.vaultmag.com) where it still appears today.

I had no idea that Quard's Corner would become as popular as it has, and for that reason I'm starting to think that you people are the truly crazy ones. I usually have no idea ahead of time what's going to happen in each installment, yet doing each issue is quite easy for me. I enjoy doing them and it seems that you people like reading the works of the certifiably insane. Either that, or you fear that if you didn't like them, I'd come over your houses for dinner. I know where you all live. I CAN do it.

Well then, welcome to the complete archive of Quard's Corner. If you clicked here accidentally then I'd like to tell you that we're holding an an on-line contest. Read all of the Corners listed herein and count how many times the phrase "radioactive carp" is used and you can win a blue ball of belly-button lint that came from my own belly-button! Also, if you'd like to ask me a question that might appear in a future Quard's Corner then email me at quardd@hotmail.com. (I am and remain an equal opportunity ignorer). Warning: All hate mail will be forwarded to a neighbor I don't like. In triplicate! Also, I shall rip your entrails out as an offering for passing dogs.

Quard's Corner courtesy of Vincent Navarino, DCI Certified Schizophrenic. E-mail him at quardd@hotmail.com, or SEND QUARD $10,000 and 20,000 hotdogs! In any case, be prepared for his invasion of France.

The Magic Dojo© 1997-1998 Frank Kusumoto.
Please report bugs or problems to webmaster@classicdojo.org. *WARNING* The Dojo will not be held responsible for anyone going insane from reading these archives. Read at your own risk!