Subject: Firecrackers [Unsolicited Humor] Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1998 13:34:02 -0600 From: "Kilgore, Tim" To: "'fkusumot@ix.netcom.com'" [Warning: Playing with fireworks can lead to potentially dangerous accidents. As having less than five digits on each hand can make shuffling exteremely difficult, please use caution when using fireworks.] Simplifying the rules in MTG in good thing. WotC is to be commended for making an attempt to reduce the amount of confusion and debris in the current game model. I also hope that a lot of the timing related BS is fixed. Here is my favorite example... I recently bought a box of M-80 fire crackers. These things are really big and are a lot of fun. I decided to try WotC's unified field of fast effects on the M-80 fire crackers. I took a lighter, torched the fuse, and waited. The M-80 exploded as expected. My smoke alarm went off and my dog pissed himself as my lab expenses are very low. After disconnecting the smoke alarm, shouting back at my neighbors, and ignoring the dogs discomfort, I returned to testing. For the next test, I took two lighters and simultaneously lit the fuse with both lighters at once. Much to my amazement, the M-80 only exploded once. The neighbors immediately went off, calling me names. I waved a water-gun threateningly out the window which shut them up. The dog was whimpering under the bed and the smoke in the room was getting thicker. I repeated this test, this time electronically sparking the fuse from two difference sources. The timing was accurate down to 1 or 2 nanoseconds. But it only exploded ONCE. What the hell? Something was clearly wrong with the experiment. I mean, come on, Mogg Bombers go off multiple times when triggered many times. What was wrong with my fire crackers? Well, I never got to find out. My neighbors called the cops. When the cops came to my door, my dog went off and the cops went off and I found myself hand-cuffed and hauled in for disturbing the peace. They didn't even _want_ to hear about Mogg Bombers. I spent three days under observation and they took my M-80's away. What kills me is that the cops and psychologists didn't even know about timing rules. What a bunch of dorks. Tim